If you are in the middle of planning a wedding, consider this your big sister moment. Grab a cup of tea, take a breath and let me walk you through a few things that every wedding vendor secretly hopes you understand. Not because they want to make life difficult, but because these little insights can save you stress, money and a whole lot of unnecessary worry. Planning a wedding is a learning curve for everyone, and a few gentle truths can help more than you would expect.
1/ Be Unapologetically Yourself
Truly. If you want pops of colour, unconventional touches, or a dramatic moment, lean into it. Vendors actually love it when couples embrace what makes them special; not only is it a fun challenge to execute, but it can make for a standout feature in their portfolio. Your day should feel like you, not a template you found online. The sooner you accept that, the more fun the whole process becomes.
2/ Don't Ghost Them
I get it can be awkward to reject someone, especially if you were the one who initiated contact, but at the end of the day, this is a business. Think of it like dating. If someone is not the right fit, tell them kindly and move on. Vendors spend hours replying to enquiries and holding dates while they wait for an answer, and simply vanishing into the ether while they wait for a reply can cost them a client. A short, polite message makes all the difference and keeps everyone in good spirits.
3/ Be Honest About Your Budget
It is practical. Suppliers want to help you, but they cannot do that without knowing what you are comfortable spending. There is no judgment. Knowing the budget early gives them the chance to guide you towards the best options, potentially recommend someone else better suited to you, and help avoid disappointment later.
4/ Don't Be Desperate
Vendors are not ignoring you if they take a day to reply. They might be setting up a wedding, driving across the country or finishing a long shift. Suppliers like photographers, florists and planners work weekends, late nights and early mornings, with a lot of travel and setup time in between. If a reply is slow, it is probably because they are giving another couple the same level of care they will give you. A bit of patience really does help keep things running smoothly.
5/ Visuals Are Vital
A picture says a thousand words, and very few people can give a perfect explanation based on their mental image alone. Grab screenshots, save photos, pull together a little mood board, and it will make it unfathomably easier for your vendor to understand your style and the details you're particularly drawn to. You do not need a full presentation. A few pictures can save several rounds of back-and-forth.
6/ Let Them Breathe
You hired professionals. They know what works, what will suit your particular venue and what needs an adjustment. It is perfectly fine to share what you love, but once you have done that, trusting your supplier gives them the freedom to create something even better. You run the risk of muddying the waters if you keep bombarding them with ideas and inspo.
7/ Book Things Early
Good vendors get snapped up quickly, especially for summer dates. If someone feels right, do not sit on it for months. Book them and enjoy the relief that comes with knowing the crucial pieces are sorted.
8/ Extras Cost Extra
Overtime, travel, delivery, extra equipment or last-minute changes often come with fees. This is not a trick, and it is not vendors trying to squeeze you. It simply covers the real work involved. If you are ever confused, just ask for a breakdown. Clarity solves almost everything.
9/ More Happens Behind The Scenes
The work you see on the day is only a small part of the job. Those flowers did not arrange themselves, and the tables did not magically appear. Vendors spend hours behind the scenes prepping, cleaning, planning, packing and travelling. Their prices reflect the full workload, not just the part you witness.
10/ Please Feed Them
Photographers, planners and musicians often work ten-hour days with barely a break. A warm meal is not a luxury. It is basic human kindness. Your vendors will give you their absolute best when they are not running on fumes. Half the time, your venue will include supplier meals in your package or account for them in advance, though it wouldn't hurt to verify a few weeks before the day.
11/ Don't Lament Tiny Details
It is so easy to get stuck on small things like ribbon shades, font choices or the precise number of roses in a centrepiece. Most guests will never notice these. What they will remember is the feeling of the day. Lean into what matters and let the microscopic things go. It saves your sanity.
- Gráinne