Bridesmaids really are your life-savers; they’re on hand to lick envelopes, keep the drinks flowing at the hen party and are not afraid to tell you if your bum really does look big in that bridal gown. But with all groups of girls, close friends or not, comes a wee bit of jealousy and competitiveness. If you find your group of girlfriends going head-to-head in the bridesmaid stakes, we have some tips on how best to diffuse the situation.

Bridesmaids

Give your bridesmaids specific jobs

You really must enter your wedding planning phase with military-style preparation. Outline a specific duty for each bridesmaid, whether it be floral arrangements or helping with the dreaded seating plan. As a result, it won’t look like you’re favouring one friend over another, and you’ll make each of your girls feel particularly useful. This is also a good way to make sure you have the right number of bridesmaids before you ask them. If you don’t have enough jobs to go around, you’re probably thinking of too many bridesmaids. If you’re a little overwhelmed about what jobs you should give them, we can help you with that too.

red bridesmaid bouquets

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Give everyone attention

Each bridesmaid is vying for that one spot of being the ‘ultimate’ bridesmaid, hoping to be given a special mention or public recognition on the day perhaps. Anticipating this, it’s important to give each and every girl their own special attention bracket of your time. Either take each girl aside, informing her of how very special she is to you and how integral her role is in the wedding, or include a personalised note in their bridesmaid gift. Again, it’s important to remember this before you pop the questions. Think about why you’re really having that bridesmaid before you ask her. Are you just asking her because you feel like you should, or is she really important to you?

wine bridesmaids

Listen to all input

Allow your bridesmaids to have a certain amount of individual input, whether it be the colour of their dress, choosing their own accessories, hairstyle etc. This will remove the competitive ‘look at me’ streak within the group and will result in happy bridesmaids and an even happier, more relieved bride. Don’t be too strict on all elements of the bridesmaid look. Some girls might hate their hair straight, while others might be uncomfortable with fake lashes. Take their personal preferences into account.

- Michelle Storey

Image credits: Metallic dresses: Erich McVey | Red bouquets: Brumley & Wells via Style Me Pretty | Wine dresses: David Jenkins Photography

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