One of the most awkward things when it comes to your wedding is the gift registry. If you already live together, there’s a good chance, you already have all the household items traditionally given as wedding gifts. Truthfully, you really don’t need three sets of cutlery or two kettles. But is it considered rude to ask for money for your wedding instead of a gift? We think so, but there is a polite way to ask.
First things first, don’t put it on the invitation. Ultimately, it’s your wedding so if you want a dress code or an adult-only affair, that’s up to you but the gifts that you receive is really up to the giver. You cannot dictate what people buy you, or even if they buy you anything at all. Yes, it is considered extremely bad etiquette to arrive at a wedding with no gift but that doesn’t mean you should taint your guests’ invitations by mentioning what they should give you. It is also considered bad etiquette to assume you are getting a gift, let alone money.
The best way to spread the word about the gifts you want, even it’s money, is to tell your close friends and family. It’s their job to spread the word to those who ask what you would like. However, it is also advisable to set up a traditional registry as well, even if it’s just a small one. There will be some people who would simply prefer to get you a gift rather than give you money and you have to allow them that option.
If you wanted to have a completely different type of registry, consider reversing it, with a big clean out and monetary gifts all rolled into one. Or if you would prefer, have your guests donate to a charity instead. However, is still considered asking for money and the same etiquette rules should apply. Furthermore, your choice of charity is very personal and not everyone will agree with it, so you should bear this in mind.
Image credit: Honeymoon fund: Etsy